Online Dating for the Guys: That First Date: Where Do You Go?

Copyright (c) 2010 Michael Jamison

Congratulations,you have met someone on an online dating site that you really think you could have something with. You have got through all of the firststages of the initial messages, the first few phone calls and now you are ready to meet for that first date. As always first impressions count, however in this case you have not actually met the person face to face so not only do you have to make sure to put your best foot forward, you have to decide where on Earth are you going to actually meet up with this person.

Generally when you are going out on a first date it will be with someone that you have met maybe at work, at a party or have been introduced to them by a friend, this is fine, you have already actually met the person face to face. In this instance you may have even had a long conversation and have been able to ascertain what this person is really like.

When you have met someone online however the above doesn’t apply, you have never met the person face to face and although you may have spoken on the telephone at length, meeting someone in person is a whole different ball game. So, what do you do and where do you go on the first date?

As a rule for both parties, personal security should be uppermost in deciding where to meet. A public place is of course always best, somewhere where there are plenty of people around. Both parties should make their own way to the venue.

When I was online dating I came up with a strategy as to where to go and what to do when meeting someone face to face for the first time. I would always arrange to meet up in a cafe for a cup of coffee and it would always be during daylight hours rather than at night. This was a personal choice but it worked extremely well for me.The idea of meeting for coffee was because (and this may seem mean) either party could leave quite quickly if they felt that the date wasn’t going well and the relationship was obviously not going to go anywhere.

If on the first date you go out to dinner you could be stuck with this person for a couple of hours and if you are not comfortable it will not be a pleasant couple of hours.The coffee date is also popular with the ladies for the same reason.

Going to a movie is also no good as you cannot talk and get to know each other. This initial face to face conversation is important to ascertain whether or not this is going to go anywhere.

Keep your first date very simple, very casual and then if you decide that you want it to carry on then go out for dinner or arrange for a second date and have a more formal one then.

Remember keep it simple, keep it casual and above all make sure that it is enjoyable. When you find the right person that first date will doubtless be special.

About the Author

Michael and Alison Jamison have been together 5 years and married for 3. They met on an online dating site and have never regretted the experience. Michael and Alison love to assist others in their quest for true love, visit http://www.thebestonlinedatingguide.com for more invaluable tips and aid in finding your true love

Time is passing by a lot faster than you imagined when you were twenty-five. However, you may stay in shape and look good if you have a healthy diet and an active lifestyle.

Steps

1. Aerobics should become a routine for you.
2. Work out while listening to your favorite music, or ask a friend to join you.
3. When you work out, try not to push yourself too much and protect yourself from eventual injuries.
4. Riding the bike is the perfect exercise for women predisposed to osteoarthritis to the knees.
5. Jog while you take the dog for a walk, it will be great to feel your muscles working and you heart full of life.

Tips

• Strengthening exercises, stretching exercises, and a healthy diet are a great formula for your health by enhancing metabolism and keeping your weight under control. This way, you may also combat depression, insomnia, or fatigue.
• If you do light aerobics you won`t risk to hurt your bones, get too tired, you`ll improve your flexibility, and breath easier.
• Try to walk more, it`s easy, safe, and a cheap way to get rid of the stress and burn calories.
• Swimming can do miracles for women over forty by strengthening their muscular mass, tendons, and ligaments. You may start with swimming sessions of up to twenty minutes, and then relax with a massage.
• Always ask for medical advice before you start a fitness program and let him know about any problem that may show up.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Get Into Fitness when You’re 40. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Women over forty still need to express their sexiness and style but without looking like a teenager or a street walker. The secret is in clean elegant lines, high end fabrics that drape well and fit are the key points to remember when choosing your outfit. Let’s look more closely at those points:

Steps

1. Choose clothes with clean, elegant lines. In a fashion world of layers and “more, more, more,” clean lines slim the body, remove the overkill of too much volume and confusion and help the observer focus on the person, not the clothing. Look for lines that flatter your figure. Be adventurous and try on that wrap dress or long straight skirt with the fringe end. But keep the rest of the outfit in balance and opt for clean lines, less volume and simple cuts, like straight skirts or A line skirts. Look for details that enhance the quality of the clothing but don’t add bulk.
2. Skip the cheap polyester. Women over forty need to wear the better quality fabrics. Choose silk, wool, cotton and high end blends of elegant fabrics that will drape over the body better. A better fabric adds to the life of the garment as well as the reflection on the wearer. Let the teenagers buy the cheap stuff since their styles and tastes change every month. You, a sophisticated woman, prefer a classic or updated classic in a soft or crisp fabric that holds up under seasons just like you do! Experience comes with age. So does an appreciation for silk. Better fabrics add to your worth and sexiness.
3. Get the right fit. Wearing clothes too tight screams that you’ve gained weight or you’re trying to look like a streetwalker or teenager who is showing off assets. Women over forty are mysterious. And smart. Buy clothes that fit well but are not skin tight. Most women over forty need a hem line just below the knee but above the calf or just above the knee. Got great legs? Opt for a hem line two inches above the knee (the shorter look is younger looking) or add boots with a longer skirt that has a slit in a strategic place. If you have any weight in your upper torso, avoid patterns and horizontal stripes in your sweaters and blouses. If you prefer wearing black, always a classic, try for a touch of color to lighten your look. Red is powerful and requires confidence. Women over forty should have the confidence to wear red. Find the best shade for you: reds are either orange based (tomato red) or blue based (cardinal red).
4. Wear good jewelry. Make a list of jewelry that you would like to own and start acquiring those pieces. Start with classic but larger size pearls in your best shade (depending on your skin tone. Less is more with jewelry so stay with a few key pieces and avoid the overkill of jangle and dangle.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Dress With Style and Vavoom After Forty (Women). All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Just like the typical setting in our mind, it is really stressful to know that one day, you are going to meet and go out on a date with the person you used to chat with only. How would you be impressive? What would you do so that it will not be your first and last date? Self-confidence says it all. When that day comes, all you need to have is the reliance in your self and the idea that things will be dealt with spontaneously. Pretensions are never beneficial.

Do not put much anxiety on your self and on your date. Consider it as a night of fun no matter what your idea is- whether you are looking for a night of fun or hoping to meet your soulmate for real, you just have to deal with the date with enthusiasm and not have many expectations from your date. You just have to enjoy the companionship of the person with you. It is only the first- so, what happens next depends on both of you.

Reliance could be resulting from mind conditioning. When you think that you are a person of self-assurance, it is surely to display. Could you see in your mind’s eye these people who arrive in a party with all people turning their head just to have a look at that man or woman? You do not have to be very beautiful or be very sexy just to attain confidence. When you are positive, everything attractive and sexy follows.

Being insecure is never useful. When you feel this way, try to divert the attention. Ask your date questions about her. With that, you can somehow evade the situation where you have to answer questions.

To make a more interesting date and keep your self away from the questions you are not comfortable with, it would be wonderful if you find a similar interest between the two of you and go out. Trying the things or activities together would be very interesting. You could talk about your past experiences about those happenings.

The top most point to take into account is that you are a special person who deserves to be happy. You must never be insecure as we are created with unique strengths, we must display them and be gutsy. With that, we could meet people with self-esteem.

Who knows? With this self-belief, you will finally meet the lifetime soulmate you have been looking for.

About the Author

If you think thatdating onlineshould be a safe and relaxing experience, then I invite you take a look at my resource for safe dating online

There’s no way to know for sure if a guy likes you, unless you ask him (and even then he could get shy and say no!); here are some tips to help you determine if he likes you.

Steps

1. Examine his body language. If he likes you, you may see that he rarely turns his back to you, often leans towards you, and also looks at you a lot. If he slouches his shoulders when near you, he’s romantic and cares about what you have to say. If he points his shoulders and pelvis towards you while sitting, he is definitely feeling something for you.
2. Notice his eye contact. If he likes you, he may either look away quickly if he is shy, or he’ll try to catch your eye and hold it or make faces. This can be uncomfortable if you don’t like him. If you feel like you have held eye contact just a fraction of a second longer than you would with anyone else, or if he looks away quickly, then there is something there. When he’s around you and he says/does something funny and everyone around laughs, his eyes will flicker towards you for a second to see if you laughed, too.
   • His pupils may dilate if he likes you, but this is quite hard to pick up on, and you might come across as acting strangely by looking that closely into his eyes. If you’re around him for a long time, it could be easier to pick up on gradually.
3. Listen to what he’s saying. If he likes you, and he’s nervous, he’ll probably start talking about himself. Many times, guys feel the need to prove themselves- especially if you talk about another guy in his company.
4. Be aware of touching. He might put his hand on your arm when he laughs, and won’t move his leg if it happens to touch yours, or he may hug you for small things – all are good signs of a guy liking you, unless he’s a bit of a “playboy” who flirts with a lot of girls. See if he uses any of the tricks in How to Touch a Girl, and see if he uses them more with you than with anyone else.
5. Watch his actions around other girls and see if he treats you differently. Some guys flirt with other girls to get your attention. It gives them a chance to see your reaction, and helps them know if you really do like them or not. You can tell that they are trying to make you jealous if they find little times when they’re flirting with the other girl to look at you. His eyes will flick over and look at you. Another sign is that when you leave, he stops flirting with the other girl. That will be a harder one to pick up on, but you can have a friend look for you or something like that. You have to be sneaky sometimes to find out if a guy likes you.
6. Watch for him showing interest in things you like and do. For example, if you like a certain genre of music that he likes as well, he may suggest bands or artists for you to listen to. Another example, if you play sports he may ask to play against you just to show off that he’s good at something you both like and then also have a reason to give you compliments as well.
7. Check for signs of nervousness Nervous laughter, sweaty palms, deep breaths, fidgeting, looking away quickly when you notice if he is watching you are all good signs of an attraction towards you and that he is nervous about making an impression on someone he fancies.
8. Pay attention to his friends. If they know he’s interested in you, they might tease him subtly when you’re around, hint to you that he likes you, or even try to find out if you like him. Study their reactions to your presence – do they smile? Do they turn to him? Do they smirk in a way that suggests they know something that you don’t?
9. Don’t ignore him If he shows genuine interest in you, (i.e. smiles at you a lot in the hallway, work, etc., at least go out for a walk.)
10. Look to see if he imitates you If he mimics you, he probably likes you, such as, if you move to another table, he’ll go with you.(I’ve had a guy who liked me mimic me before, so I know this is one thing)
11. Teasing If a guy teases you a lot, it might mean he likes you, but if he doesn’t tease any other girl, he probably does like you.
12. Hitting A guy may hit you but it’s just flirting he probably just wants to see your smile i have had a few guys that will hit me that like me. You may find it annoying if you’re not into him, but otherwise if you hit back then that’s a way then he can know that you like him back!
13. Compliments . If you do your hair or makeup differently one day, and the guy notices, that’s a very good sign that he likes you. Most guys won’t notice, and if they do, they won’t say anything unless they’re into you. Anything like, “You look nice today,” “I like that shirt,” or even “Did you do your hair differently today? It looks nice,” are all indicators that he could be interested in you. NOTE: If he’s a good friend of yours, these won’t necessarily be indicators of romantic interest. It could just be him being a good friend.

Tips

• If you like him and you are confident, ask him out.
• The Clock Test: To see if a guy has been checking you out, abruptly look at the clock, then look at him really fast. If he followed your eyes to the clock, he was staring at you and was startled by your sudden movement that following your eyes is a reflex to them.
• If he seems comfortable talking to you about other girls, he probably does not like you in that way. Either that, or he is trying to make you jealous, which might mean that he likes you but doesn’t reflect too well on his character. Or he could be trying to see if you like him.
• If his ex hates you, there might be a reason.
• If you have a different lunch schedule than him, try “visiting” your friends in that period and pass by him so he knows you are there. If he comes by to sit with you, or “surprises” you by sneaking up on you, talk with him. Then, later, ask your friends if he normally comes over to sit. If he doesn’t, he most likely likes you and wanted an excuse to be near you.
• The Pencil Test: If you have a lead pencil, “accidentally” break it. If you ask him to sharpen it for you, and he says “Yes”, he could be into you. If he says “No”, no hard feelings, he could be shy.
• Here’s a way to ask him if he likes you without really asking! You can tell a friend to go up to him, look him up and down, and say, ‘You and (insert your name) should go out.’ If he looks at your friend like he’s thinking or nods at her/him, he may be considering the offer. But if he shrugs, or just turns away, don’t think he doesn’t like you. He may not be comfortable telling your friend if he likes you or not.

Warnings

• If you look at him a lot, he might look at you just to see if you’re looking at him and not because he likes you.
• Remember that if you like someone you can sometimes misread their signals in the hope that they like you back. For instance, a guy who teases you in an affectionate way may act like that towards everybody and doesn’t realise that he’s making you swoon every time he pokes good-natured fun at you!
• Watch out for the subtle guys. If he asks you something that could potentially be a date but you’re not really sure, make sure it’s clear before you agree to it. It can be uncomfortable when one of you thinks you’re on a date and one of you thinks you’re not.
• The wrong kind of guy might say he likes you without meaning it; if this is the case, he probably wants to see how far you would go with him, for any of those activities (whatever they may be) themselves and for bragging rights among his friends.
• Don’t ask your friends to ask him if he likes you. He might not be truthful and tell your friends that he doesn’t like you. It doesn’t work 99.999% of the time.
• He doesn’t look in your eyes when talking to you. If he focuses more on your body, be careful, he may not like you for you. He could just be looking for a “good” time.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Know if a Guy Likes You. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Steps

1. Moisten your lips. Dry lips do not move well together. Just a light brush of your tongue over your lips will be sufficient to moisten them. In general, use lip balm regularly- you never know when someone will go in for the smooch.
2. Angle your head. If your mouths meet dead-on, your noses will get in the way, and you will not be able to kiss deeply or smoothly. To avoid this, tilt your head slightly to one side. Make sure you do not both tilt your heads to the same side. Studies have shown that most people angle their head to the right.
3. Close your eyes. As you approach for the kiss, look into your partner’s eyes, but, once you are close to theirs, close your eyes. It can be a bit of a turnoff to be kissing and going cross-eyed. However, you don’t need to always close your eyes; some people enjoy keeping their eyes open and seeing their partner when kissing.
4. Start with a gentle and soft closed-mouth kiss. The French kiss is an open-mouth kiss, but do not lunge in with your lips agape like you’re going to eat them; instead, open your lips very slowly. If you were learning to speak French, you would probably start with the basics, vocabulary and grammar, before trying to write poetry. Well, the French kiss is like the poetry of kissing, and before you can be good at it, you have to master the closed-mouth kiss. Even after you have added French kissing to your romantic repertoire, it is usually better to start a kiss with closed lips.
5. Go Dutch on the decision to French. Kissing should be a shared decision. You need to have permission to French kiss someone, but when your lips are locked with theirs you may not want to stop and ask, “Hey, this is great, but can I put my tongue in your mouth?”. Open your lips slowly and just a little during the kiss so that one of your lips is sandwiched between theirs and one of theirs is between yours. As you are locking and re-locking lips, brush your tongue against your partner’s lips ever so slightly. This should make it clear that you want to French kiss. If your partner’s tongue does not respond in like fashion or if they pull away, you will have to save the French kiss for another time when you are both ready.
6. Explore with your tongue. If you and your partner seem to be enjoying the open-mouth kiss, slowly try to open your mouth a little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into their mouth. The tongue is very sensitive, and the mere act of touching your partner’s tongue with your own will be very pleasant and stimulating for each of you. Do not stick your tongue too far into the mouth, as this can be a big turn-off. Instead, just gently and playfully touch tongues. As a guy, when you are starting to French kiss, touch your tongue to hers very lightly. If she wants more, she will come and get it.
7. Go slow. Passionate kisses are good sometimes, but to really enjoy a French kiss, you must take it slow. Do not hurry and instead, take time to explore each other’s mouths.
8. Breathe. If you’re kissing for an extended period, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Believe it or not, gasping and turning blue is not romantic. Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss. You do not forget how to breathe! As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
9. Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly the same. Once you finally feel comfortable French kissing someone, it is tempting to try to do the same thing every time. Add variety. Sometimes kiss deeper, for example, and other times pay more attention to the lips than the tongue. Hold the kiss longer or shorter and explore the art of kissing. When something feels good for each of you, do not abandon it for the sake of variety.
10. Use your hands. While you should keep your hands polite, especially on a first kiss, you don’t necessarily want them just dangling at your sides. As a general rule, start with your hands on your partner’s hips and then slowly move them around their back or up to the face and hair. Another turn on for the first kiss is to gently caress their shoulder while you kiss. It shows you are comfortable with him/her. Gently hold your partner’s face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck, or wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace. The most important thing about using your hands is that you respect your partner’s boundaries. Play with their ears or run your fingers through their hair, as this is very stimulating. The second most important thing (much less important than the first) is that your hands should do something. Don’t just let them hang at your sides; it will seem like you’re not into the kiss.
11. Read your partner’s body language. Everybody kisses a little differently, and each person enjoys different things in a kiss – there is no “right” way to kiss. What separates good kissers from bad is an ability to read a partner’s body language and be responsive to their partner. Of course if your partner pulls away or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down. Good kissing requires give-and-take, so read your partner’s body language and pay attention to clues (sighs or moans) that tell you you’re doing something he or she likes. Let your partner kiss you back, and move with him or her as long as you’re comfortable with what he or she is doing.Listen for cues that tell how much your partner is enjoying a particular kissing maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, realize that they are responding with fervor.
12. Develop your style. Good French kissing, like good kissing of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it more. In addition, the more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you will feel kissing them and developing a style that suits both of you.
13. Talk about it. A lot of people have difficulty talking about intimacy, but open communication is important to all parts of a relationship. If you really like the way your partner kisses you, let them know. If you don’t like something, also let your partner know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the same time on something they did that you liked. Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together!

Tips

• Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. Always have breath mints or mint-flavoured gum if you think there is even so much as a hint of a chance you might kiss.
• Teeth are a sensitive subject. You definitely do not want to bump teeth with each other. It is not only awkward, but can hurt. It might inevitably happen at times, so do not worry when it does. You may want to try rubbing the backs or fronts of the teeth of the other person with your tongue. This can create a ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. Not everyone enjoys having someone’s tongue rubbing on their teeth, and many do not like to touch teeth with their tongue.
• Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that’s comfortable for each of you. This works in reverse, too. Just because someone doesn’t kiss you like you are used to does not mean they are a bad kisser. As long as you are comfortable with the kiss, try to be open-minded, as you just might like the new style.
• Be an active partner. If someone is French kissing you and you want them to do so, do not just sit there but get into the kiss. Reciprocate their actions, and alternate taking the lead on the movements of your tongues and lips. If you are uncomfortable with any part of the kiss, do not be afraid to pull away or gently close your lips. This will give your partner the hint.
• There are no rules for how long you should hold a kiss. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, break the kiss; otherwise, just enjoy it until one or both of you slowly pull apart, usually together. It is extremely romantic to lightly suck your partner’s upper or bottom lip as you part. You might find yourselves returning to kissing, after each of you takes a breath.
• Remember…Don’t think to much about it…just do it…when it happens you will adapt quick and fast so enjoy it more than think about it.

Warnings

• To some people a hard tongue is a turn-off. Keep tongue and lips soft and supple. Think of the pressure used to lick a soft service ice cream cone, no probing with a stiff tongue unless the other enjoys it. Use variations to mix it up, as well. Now go ahead and practice!
• You can still French kiss if one or both of you has braces, but you should be careful to prevent the braces from touching each other. Also avoid touching the braces with your tongue (you might accidentally cut it).
• Excessive saliva can build up during a French kiss, and that can interfere with the romantic moment. Swallow periodically without breaking the kiss. If you have trouble doing that, do not be afraid to pull away for a moment.
• If you ever feel uncomfortable or do not want to move forward with any move your partner is attempting, pull away and let your partner know that you want to stop. Be firm. It’s OK to say no.
• Try not to bite the other persons tongue.
• Remember, a regular kiss is okay too, if your partner is not up for le français!
• Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, onions, broccoli, milk, and corn.
• Be aware that French kissing may transmit infectious diseases such as herpes and infectious mononucleosis.

Sources and Citations

• 5min – how to French kiss the right way video 5min is a Videopedia for instructional videos. Source of images in this article, shared with permission.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to French Kiss. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

The first, and biggest common pitfall that the over forties and fifties singles make is being vague in their requirements. These dating websites typically have hundreds of thousands of members, if not millions, and so vagueness can result in you being inundated with emails and enquiries. In some cases people have received over a hundred responses with 48 hours of joining the web site. This can become a major logistical nightmare for you. The way to avoid this is to indicate very clearly the type of individual you are looking for. Most good quality websites provide you with very comprehensive profile areas both for yourself and for the person you are looking for. Spend a reasonable amount of time on this section of the website and ensure that you are clear on your needs, wants and aspirations. Spending time now will save you having to spend hours later reading through emails from unsuitable suitors.

Read more…The 3 Pitfalls You Must Avoid – 40 Plus and Dating

Wheretofind

If you are dedicated to finding your soulmate, begin with an earnest look at exactly what you want in Mr. or Ms. Right, and then do what it takes to find him or her. You have a lot of choices to consider when it comes to dating, so base your search on finding the best way to meet that special person. In the perfect world, you would recognize your soulmate at the first meeting, and continue dating from there. That doesn’t happen often in real life, though.

Read more…Don’t Make These Common Mistakes When Dating After 40 – 40 Plus and Dating

Wheretofind

Read more…When a guy suddenly stops calling – 40 Plus and Dating

Wheretofind

Q: Is it OK to correspond with more than one person at the same time?
A: Yes. If you are not actually officially dating anyone yet, this is the way you will get to know them. By corresponding with many different people, you will be able to choose which one seems like the best match for you.

Q: How long should I wait before responding to someone?
A: The internet world moves fast, so it’s a good idea to try to respond within 24 hours if possible. Remember that you are competing with thousands of other profiles, so the other person will just move on if they don’t hear back from you.

Q: If I don’t think someone is right for me should I still respond back to them?
A: Not necessarily. 40 plus dating online etiquette is different than we have been taught in that it is polite to reply to all correspondence. In the cyber world, it is acceptable to not reply to every email, especially if you feel the sender is not compatible with you.

Q: How much information should I reveal in my emails?
A: Your first few emails should be short and upbeat and not reveal too much personal information. You are just sending out feelers at this point. Long, drawn out emails telling your complete life history are a turn off and may not even be read. Remember that unlike in person, they can dismiss you without a thought with that ever-looming delete button.

Q: At what point should pictures be exchanged?
A: Some people will ask for pictures right up front and that is perfectly OK. We are visual creatures and it is natural to want to know what people look like. It is not acceptable to send nude photos and also keep in mind that when 40 plus dating if you send photos of yourself in your 30’s that you will have to deal with the consequences eventually.

Q: If I start dating someone, should I take my profile down right away?
A: If you are serious about starting a relationship with that person, then yes. If you are just starting to casually see people, such as coffee dates, then you don’t have to take your profile down yet. Most online dating websites allow you to suspend your profile so that it can’t be viewed publicly, but don’t delete it entirely. If things don’t work out, you can always turn your profile back on.

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Wheretofind